I look forward to every New Year because it feels like the slate has been wiped clean. It’s a time to reflect and start over (if need be). And boy do I need a re-do. 2015 was a year full of promises and “I’ll get to its” and good intentions on my part. I wanted so badly to change a few key things within myself and by March, I failed. In 2016, I want to finish what I started in 2015. I won’t call them resolutions because resolutions never get accomplished, so instead I will call this my Plan of Action. As a mom, here’s what I need to change and handle better.
This is my 2016 Plan of Action:
1. READ MORE—I love reading. I LOVE READING. I own piles of books, and I have a list a mile long of books I want to read. I don’t get to read as much as I want to or used to be able to. I miss getting lost in books, with new characters and surroundings. Reading is relaxing to me: it calms me down, it’s my hobby. I miss it so much. In 2016, I promise myself that I will stay awake long enough to finish more than one chapter a night. I promise to carve out time to do something that I really enjoy doing.
2. MAKE MORE TIME FOR MYSELF—I know, I know, I know. This is such a redundant thing that comes along with being a mother. I don’t know about you, but I feel guilty about things like going grocery shopping alone or taking a bath by myself when I have a filthy 4 year old who also needs a bath or changing what I was watching while comfortably snuggled up in bed ALONE so that my 7 year old can watch MythBusters. A lot of that is just part of being a mom. But some of that is guilt, and I need to let that go. In 2016, I promise myself that I will not look back when pulling out of the driveway to go to Target and that I will lock the door to my bathroom.
3. STOP BEING SO SENSITIVE—Ok, raise your hand if you are overly sensitive. I admittedly am. It’s one of my best and worst qualities. I think with my heart, not with my head and it can lead to a lot of unnecessary anxiety and sore feelings on my part. The key is to not take everything so personal. It might be easier said than done, but in 2016, I promise myself that I will try to brush off those feelings of inadequacy that come with over-thinking a situation. If someone doesn’t want to be my friend or if someone is being rude to me, that’s on them, not me. It’s nothing personal.
4. JOURNAL MORE—Journaling is so therapeutic for me and I used to do it often. I love writing and re-reading my thoughts. It helps me process and decompress from things that are going on around me. It’s nice to get it all down at one time. I haven’t journaled in a long time because of the same reason I don’t read much anymore: lack of time. In 2016, I promise myself that I will journal at least 3 times a week, even if I have to stay up late to do it.
5. LOOSEN UP AS A MOM—OVER STRESSED MOM HERE. I am over stressed for no reason other than the pressure I put on myself. Anything from my kid’s clothes to their hair to the words they say stresses me out. Kids are kids and for some reason they like to say “fart”. It drives me insane, which is probably why they do it, but it’s not the end of the world. Neither are all of the questions my kids ask me or how they always have to go to the bathroom whenever our food arrives in a restaurant or how Jax likes to wear an undershirt that doesn’t match or Elliot refuses to wear the shoes that actually match what she’s wearing. LET.IT.GO. It’s not worth it and it only leads to major stress. In 2016, I will take deep breathes more often and I will lay off of my kids. They are kids and they need the freedom to be just that.
6. DON’T YELL SO MUCH— My name is Misty and sometimes (more than I probably should) I yell at my children. I know…that’s not a good thing. It’s hard to admit to because I know that it’s something I don’t need to do. Our weekends and evenings are so hectic and stressful, but that’s no reason to yell. Sometimes it’s the only way they seem to pay attention, but still, it needs to change. As parents, we can discipline without raising our voices. In 2016, I will address bad behavior and defiance without raising my voice. I will make more time for myself, try to loosen up more, and in return, not be so stressed. No stress equals no yelling. So if I take better care of myself mentally, it will flow over into my parenting.
I know this won’t all happen overnight and will take a lot of follow-through. I know this is going to be something that is constantly going to need my attention. It’s going to take work and patience on my part, and I know that. I will be a better mom for it and that in and of itself is worth it.