PSA: Be Nice or Leave

Hard times in life are inevitable, unfortunately. I rather despise difficulties when they come up in my own life, but it is a part of the experience. We live in an imperfect world, and when hard times hit, they can hit hard.

Some difficult times are predictably terrible. Divorce, death, legal issues, sickness, miscarriage, infidelity, financial ruin … it’s no secret that these experiences can be traumatic. Some would suggest that this would be an opportune time to show compassion, help, or wish hurting individuals well. These dark moments are when your “village” should show up and cover the hurt with their love.

If only life were perfect.

But for narcissists and other “hurting people who hurt people,” it is irrelevant that you are going through an obviously difficult time. After all, the suffering is happening to you, not them.

Just a thought — if you cannot convey kindness, then resist the urge to contribute to their pain. When others are in the black hole of hardship, just leave them alone if you lack the capacity to be helpful or supportive. Their Christmas was probably already ruined, so why add another layer?

So, here is a public service announcement: Be nice or leave. If absence is the greatest kindness you can muster, then do it. For the vulnerable and hurting, their plate is full and there is no need for seconds.

Melissa Fleming
Melissa Fleming lives in Prairieville, Louisiana with her husband, Blake, and their three beautiful daughters: Evelyn (5), Clara (3), and Chloe (2). She graduated from LA Tech with a B.A. in journalism and then earned her M.Ed. and Ph.D. in counselor education from UNO. She is the owner of MWF Counseling, LLC. In between seeing clients and chasing toddlers, she enjoys watching Real Housewives and drinking as much caffeinated tea as possible.


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