Shifting the Focus From Who I Lost to Who I Am Now

I used to be a professional. I used to be an incredible teacher. I used to come home from the classroom and KNOW that I just made a difference in the world. I used to wear high heels. I felt strong and my work was fulfilling.

I used to be an artist. A creator. A knowledge seeker. My thoughts used to be in order.

I used to be a good friend – the one who never forgot a birthday. The one who always remembered to call. The one who gave advice. The one who listened and knew what was going on in your life.

I was organized, on time, well dressed. I used to have good skin and shaved legs (okay maybe not always shaved legs).

I used to take better care of myself. Take long relaxing baths, exercise, go to the dentist … ugh that reminds me – I REALLY need to make a dentist appointment.

I used to read. Actual books. Read them from cover to cover.

I used to sleep. Garden. Cook without the stress of messing up dinner. I used to love grocery shopping alone.

I used to go on long walks. It was quiet. And I could think.

I used to finish laundry! And put it all away!!focus

Sometimes I sit.

Maybe on the bathroom floor while I sip my coffee behind a locked door and my husband feeds the boys breakfast. I sit. And I miss myself. I wonder: “Have I lost me? Am I gone?“

But then I stop. I breathe. And I realize I am so much more than I was. I am so much stronger and more powerful than the me I sometimes miss.

I am more powerful because I don’t think about myself first anymore.

Don’t get me wrong, I believe in self care and seek it regularly, but I find myself sacrificed in a beautiful and humbling way that goes deeper than anything I could ever have imagined.

Its not easy. Some days I get frustrated. I feel like its not fair. Like I don’t have enough “me time”… Some days I feel like I am at the end of my rope (any maybe I am).

But then there comes a point, maybe even after a bit of overdue rest, I realize I GET to be a mom. That I AM a mom. I have the privilege and the honor of motherhood. AND I am doing a pretty darn good job. I remember that I am choosing to stay at home with my children and I have CHOSEN to be a parent to my beautiful boys. I remember that I still have heels in my closet and that no one can take away my Master’s degree. I remember that life changes so fast and that my boys are only small once. I remember that this stage of life is really hard, but it is only a season of life and that things will change (maybe even too quickly). I remember that life has a lot to offer and that I am a significant part of this beautiful big world.

I think about how being a mom is a powerful and important job in this world. And that helps me love this me more than the me I sometimes miss.

Marguerite is a teacher taking a break from the four walls of the classroom to teach her two beautiful boys (ages 3 and 1) in their home (as well as the park, library, grocery store, etc.). Most days, Marguerite can be found sharing in the simple joy of trying a new food or splashing in a puddle, drying tears from a scrapped knee, or trying to paint or garden with two babies at her feet. She is a huge advocate of early childhood development and a big supporter of the idea that our children are our future. She works each day to help foster an environment that helps her children grow into kind, productive citizens. Marguerite is also a big fan of community and the idea that “it takes a village.” Her husband, Nick, of six years and her are constantly looking to widen and deepen the community in their lives. Marguerite choses to write for RSMB in order to share with other moms how wonderfully messy her life can be and that no parent should feel alone in this journey of motherhood.


  1. I loved this! Every word is true and it is nice to be reminded that there are others that walk in your shoes and understand.


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