Your Spouse Struggles with Anxiety :: Here are Some Ways to Help

Anxiety is defined by Webster as “A feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease, typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome.”

Anxiety for me is something I have struggled with my entire life. Even before I knew what anxiety was, I was having anxious thoughts and actions as young as elementary school. I remember having extreme test anxiety and of course the normal, “Am I cool enough for them?” in later years.

Anxiety and marriage is a whole different subject for me! Now, I am living my life WITH someone else who is learning who I am, what triggers my anxiety and how they can help or hurt the cause.

My spouse & I have been together for a while now, 14 years, and we have learned a few things on how to navigate my anxiety. I know that everyone’s situation is very different but here are a few things that I have found help:

  • Let me be. In many cases, I know that what I am thinking appears to be irrational but in that moment, I need you to just simply say “I understand those feelings.” Trying to justify why my feelings are irrational will not help right now. Give me an hour or so, then we can talk.
  • Hug me. There is nothing I want more after a day where I have been tested in every way as an employee, mom and wife as walking into my house with a hug.
  • Maintaining our routine, as hectic as it may appear to others, helps me. You do what you always do and I will do what I always do. In a perfect world, things will go a lot smoother.
  • Listen and let me talk. I don’t need your answers; I just need your ears.

Anxiety is a fight that I fight daily. I have good days and I have bad days. For me, I give myself grace when I have bad days. I allow myself to eat the not so healthy option, lay on the couch and skip laundry. Tomorrow is a new day. Remember if you have friends or family struggling with anxiety, they are trying their best to be their best self in an anxiety filled world.

Tiffany is happily married to her high school sweetheart, Desmond. Together they get to play the roles of Mommy and Daddy to Micah, a gifted Math Wiz of a teenager who is always making people laugh, and Keilyn, a spunky, flower loving, dancing girl who will stop and talk to anyone she meets. She was born and raised in Baton Rouge and has Cajun blood running through her veins. She works full time outside of the home in business administration. She started the journey of motherhood young but wouldn’t have it any other way. Her children have taught her to laugh, play and that sometimes it’s ok not to have a plan! She has a passion for teenagers and is an active mentor in her church’s youth group. In her rare free time she enjoys shopping, coffee, and date nights with her husband. She believes that everyone has a story to tell and enjoys meeting new people, making people laugh, and spending time with friends and family.

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