Spring Cleaning :: Getting Rid of Bullies for Adults and Children
Bullying is the uninvited guest who shows up without asking, eats all the chocolate, and then acts offended when you suggest they leave. We talk to kids about bullies like they disappear after the graduate, but really, bullying just changes outfits. It gets quieter, sneakier, and suddenly everyone is “just joking.”
So here’s a funny, kid-friendly guide that works for both children and adults.
Start with S – the “small stuff” bully.
S knocks your notebook off your desk. Again. And again. Not enough for trouble, just enough to be annoying.
The rule here is simple: name it out loud.
“Stop touching my things.”
Clear. Calm. Boring. Powerful.
Bullies hate:
- Clear words
- Witnesses
- Confidence without drama
Tips:
- Practice at home like spelling words
- Use a strong voice, not a yelling voice
- Say it once, say it clearly, don’t explain
- Walk away after you say it
Next is E – the escalator.
E takes things further and tries to hit, push, or threaten. For children, this is when adults get involved, even if you have to go up to the principal. For adults, this is when the police get involved. This is not “tattling.” This is safety reporting.
Tips:
- Tell an adult/police immediately
- Write down what happened
- Say who, what, where, and when
- Keep telling until someone listens
Being polite doesn’t mean being quiet.
It means being firm and consistent.
Then comes Q – the boundary breaker.
Q is the person who hears “no” and responds with “but why not?” or “it worked for me!”
Nope. No is not a debate club.
Your job is to repeat the boundary, not to explain it. (Odds are, you’ve already explained it in some form, they just don’t respect it or you/your children.)
“That doesn’t work for me.”
“I said no.”
“I’m done talking about it.”
Tips:
- Repeat the same sentence
- Don’t argue
- Don’t explain
- Don’t apologize
If they’re mad, that’s their homework, not yours.
You can practice like it’s a game:
- Use robot voices
- Pretend the bully is a mosquito: swat and walk
- Strike a superhero pose after a strong sentence
- Make a “boundary shield” with your arms
Quick Bully Survival Tips:
- Say it once, clearly
- Get witnesses when needed
- Write things down
- Walk away when possible
- Repeat boundaries like a broken record
- Protect your energy like it’s your favorite snack
The big idea is this: Bullies want reactions, control, or compliance.
What works is:
- Clear words
- Strong boundaries
- Follow-through
- Calm confidence
You’re not teaching kids (or yourself) to be “nice at all costs.” You can be kind, not nice.
You’re teaching them to be safe, strong, and self-respecting.
And most importantly: Your presence is for people who treat you right (and don’t eat your chocolate).
