The Middle Child Syndrome

I’m the oldest of three children so I never believed in the “middle child syndrome.” When I heard stories told by middle children, I always thought that they were misreading the situation. That was until I had my own children.

Now that I am a mother of three, I see what causes the “middle child syndrome.”

At times, I feel that I have a stronger connection with my oldest because I’ve known him the longest. He’s older and can process certain things better than my other children. We also share a lot of inner jokes.  

My youngest, although three, is still considered my baby. I’m always in protection mode because I feel that out of all of my children, she is the most prone to hurt herself. She also requires a lot of assistance doing things so a lot of my time is spent helping her learn and maneuver through life.

That leaves my middle child. She has always been independent. Even when doing her homework, she does it without assistance. When I ask if she needs help, it’s always “I got it.”

On the other hand, my oldest is right in the middle of fourth grade. He really requires a lot of assistance to get through the obscene amount of homework, assessments, and projects that he is given.  

I didn’t realize it until now how little time I spend with my middle child. Although completely not on purpose, a lot of my time is split between my oldest and my youngest. In hopes of eliminating the “middle child syndrome” in my house, I’ve created “me” time. Throughout the day, I set aside private time for each child. It doesn’t matter what is going on with the other children, unless it is an emergency, “me” time is never interrupted. Once a month, each child is able to plan a “me” day. It’s the one day where that child has all control and my full attention. They dictate where we go and what we eat and don’t have to worry about their time being divided with their siblings.

Now each child can feel special that they each have their own special time.


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