The  Vulnerable Place of Finding Yourself

vulnerable

For the last several years, I have pretty much just been Mom. I love that title, I love my girls. But having young kids (ages 5, 3, 2, and 1 here) means that I’ve been in the trenches for a while, especially with one with extra needs.

A few months back, I realized that Stacy was gone. I no longer had an identity aside from Mom. Along with the hazy fog of young motherhood, I was becoming overwhelmed with anxiety and depression.

I sought the help of a counselor, who really helped me to sort through some of the bigger issues, but I still felt so empty so much of the time.

I came to the realization that I wanted to do something for me. I wanted something with a goal or some sort of accountability. I imagined that working on or toward something would give me a sense of accomplishment – I imagined training for and running a marathon – except I had no interest whatsoever in running. Then it came to me.

Art. Drawing. Creation.

It is what used to ground me, help me to completely clear my mind and to give me something to be proud of, that was all mine.

I didn’t want to go it alone, though. I have historically put myself on the back burner and wanted to make sure that didn’t happen this time. I NEEDED to make the space to pull myself  up out of the murky isolation of motherhood.

So I asked other moms to join me. Weekly, we meet together to create. We rent a free room at the library and come together to create whatever it is that makes our hearts sing. We have women who draw, decorate planners, write, crochet, but mostly we visit, breathe, decompress, and dream.

None of us really knew the others well before this. We are creating a community built on our need for community, our need to be our own person, and to have a space to do something lovely. It is giving life to my soul and a spark of life to my days.

I encourage you to find space to create and find women who are willing to go on that journey with you. Your soul needs it.

Stacy is married to John, and mother to four girls, all ages 6 and under. They are a foster family and are passionate about serving children and families in need. Stacy has a Master's Degree in Education from LSU, but has chosen to take a break from teaching in the classroom to work part-time, while focusing on family.

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