Well, my husband, Matt and I survived our first time bringing one of our kids to a game at Tiger Stadium. The day played out similar to the football game. She started off strong and full of LSU spirit while we tailgated but fizzled out by the time we got to the stadium after a long wait for the Golden Band in the 95 degree sun. We were able to revive her with copious amounts of concessions, but it was a rough first half. Our tiny six year old daughter put away a large Mr. Pibb, nachos, dippin’ dots, and a bag of popcorn before the end of the third quarter. I don’t know if it was because we walked so much or because she was bored, but it at least got us almost to the end. It’s a good thing, because my superfan husband would sooner buy a box of tampons than leave an LSU football game at halftime. He managed to watch the remainder of the game the next day, because obviously he records every game and dissects every play like a maniac. Here is what he and other superfans care about this week.
Even though LSU beat Southeastern, superfans are not happy.
Like I said last week, it’s not if they win, but how they win. The penalties against LSU weren’t excessive, but they came at the worst time. It’s like when your kid eats crackers right after you swept the floors. Eating crackers seems innocuous enough, but when it’s done on a freshly cleaned floor, it becomes a serious infraction. Also, LSU didn’t win big enough. Matt was exhibiting signs of severe point envy after the game. You could find him mumbling things like “Why can’t we win by 50 points like Bama?” and “Even Miami scored 77 points.” And of course, there was mention that Auburn, LSU’s opponent this week, won by 52 points which has superfans on edge going into Saturday’s game. As a slightly interested, mostly amused wife of an LSU superfan, I don’t see what the problem is. To me, it sounds like they are working smarter, not harder. I mean, I’m not going to clean my house for my sister the way I would clean for my mother-in-law. It’s a waste of my time and effort.
Auburn is tough to beat when they are the home team.
So, here is another superfan-approved statistic for you to show off. Over the past 18 years of Auburn and LSU playing each other, the “away” team has only won twice. Superfans love a superstitious sports stat, so get ready for a look of admiration from your superfan when you spout this one off. It’s not really an indicator of what will happen, but it makes superfans feel like they can predict the outcome or have a reason why we won’t win, regardless of who the better team is. It’s kind of like when you remind everyone before a night out that you tend to make an a** of yourself at this one particular bar and then up the ante by letting them know that your tolerance is low because you haven’t drank in a while. That way, when you dance on the bar and throw up out the car window, you can say “I warned you.” In reality, it has nothing to do with where the game is played or where the drinks are consumed. Auburn is probably just better, and you have no self-control.
“Turns out that Burrow (the quarterback) is just human.”
That is a direct quote from my superfan husband. Don’t worry. I rolled my eyes on behalf of all of us. Of course, he is human. He is also practically a kid, along with the rest of these guys. Superfans went into the first game thinking LSU would lose a lot this season. After the Miami win, they regained hope. Visions of national championships starting dancing through their heads. The second half of the Southeastern game brought them back to reality. Defense and special teams (New phrase of the day alert! “Special teams” is the fancy way to refer to everyone who is on the field when there is kicking involved.) are looking great, but the offense is probably not good enough to beat heavy hitters like Alabama and Georgia. Just because you were able to pull off dragging three kids through Target without incident that one time, don’t expect it to be the norm. All it takes is one checkout line meltdown or pants-wetting episode to bring you down a few notches. There is a high probability that LSU will lose to Auburn, and you will never get out of Target unscathed again.
So, that’s week 3 for you. I hope you’ve been learning a little bit and also using this information to bond with your superfan (or just freak them out!). I have to admit that writing these posts has been a really fun project for my husband and I. Also, I’ve noticed an uptick in his active participation of watching Real Housewives with me. I’d say that is a pretty fair trade-off.