Toddlers in Diapers: When Potty Training isn’t a Priority.

My youngest child turned three a few weeks ago, and with that people have started to ask, “Oh is she potty trained yet?” Once I say that she is not potty trained, people feel the need to tell her that she is too old to be in diapers, and then ask her, “Aren’t you ready to use the real potty and wear big girl underwear?”.

THAT IS A NEGATIVE. No, she is not.

If you are like me and have a toddler running around, you know that potty training can be an intimidating and dreaded task. I am aware that there are parents out there who rave about how easy it was to get their kid out of diapers, and I am honestly happy (aka jealous) for them. However, my daughter isn’t showing any signs of being ready to potty train, and I’m just not going to push it.

Yes, she is still in diapers

After three kids, I’ve gotten really good at changing wet diapers, pajamas, and bedsheets in the wee hours of the morning. I’m pretty sure that the kids don’t even wake up sometimes! I would much rather hand my money over for yet another pack of diapers than spend my time trying to convince my strong-willed 3-year old that we are going to start using the potty. Hard pass.

I don’t know how to potty train.

I didn’t potty train my older two. Our wonderful daycare handled that task for me. Of course, I could read a few articles on all the different methods of potty training and it might be pretty simple. My youngest is headstrong and stubborn, so nothing has been simple with her. She is fiercely opinionated and if she doesn’t want to do something, then it isn’t happening without a temper tantrum.

Telling me to potty train my kid isn’t helping

I am fully aware that my daughter will need to learn to use the bathroom at some point. If she’s not ready, that time isn’t now. Joking that it won’t be cute sending her to college with a diaper bag isn’t helpful. Shaming me for her still being in diapers isn’t going to speed the process along. It stresses me out and makes me feel defeated. I’m not sure who decided that a child should be potty trained long before they turn three. To my knowledge, there aren’t any prizes being given out.

My daughter couldn’t care less

My daughter is perfectly content walking around in a soggy diaper as opposed to using the toilet. To her, the potty is simply a step stool to see herself in the mirror. She shows no interest in using it for its intended purpose.

2020 is hard enough

With everything that has been thrown at us over the past six months, between virtual learning, mask mandates, and working from home, I can’t juggle another task. Something has to be put on the back burner, and for me, that is potty training. I feel like this would be more trouble than what it’s worth, due to my daughter showing no desire to be a willing participant.

If you are one of the lucky ones and this task was easy, count your blessings! If you are freaking out over the pressure to get your toddler out of diapers and into Disney or superhero underwear, I’m in the same boat as you. I’ll see you at Target buying another pack of diapers!

Elizabeth Boudreaux
Elizabeth and her husband Nicholas have been married for 13 years. They live in Geismar with their 3 children, Addison (9), Parker (5), and Laurel (2). She is from Franklin, LA and moved to Baton Rouge after receiving her Master’s in Business Administration from Southeastern Louisiana University. She is a Budget Administrator for the Department of Public Safety. She relies on sarcasm, a dry sense of humor, and the occasional cocktail to deal with the daily demands of motherhood. She loves crawfish, clean sheets, vacuuming, and the latest crime documentary on Netflix.


  1. I follow Janet Lansbury (RIE approach) and Robin Einzig (Visible Child) and trusting your kid to move onto that stage when they’re ready is a main component — it can feel socially embarrassing but it seems that there are less accidents when it’s child-led. As a new mom I’m already trying to prep myself to respond to people when they start asking this question!!!


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