When Mama Can’t Fix It

“I gave all my germs to you!” he proudly exclaimed. He’ll be celebrating his fifth birthday in just a few days- during #quarantine2020. This was his way of fixing the problem I guess.

A boy after his mama’s own heart- find a problem, find a solution. We hadn’t really said a whole lot about Covid-19 in front of him. Beyond extra hand washing and skipping his Pre-K4 class, life was pretty normal for him (or I was at least trying my best). But his proclamation of where he sent his germs had my mama brain reeling.

He gave his germs to Mama because Mamas can fix everythinggg. Except when we can’t.

Day 6 of “social distancing” had me realizing I was paralyzed with fear, worry, anxiety. Completely overwhelmed. What are we even supposed to be doing? Stay home. Wash your hands. Don’t touch your face. Got It. Easy enough…

But what about… his education? Am I going to end up having to teach my poor kids everything they may ever know?! #imnotthatsmart What about our friends and all the adventures we were supposed to have? What if this is our new normal? What if things were never the way they were before ever again? I was stuck in the unrealistic rabbit hole of “what ifs” about our new way of life. However temporary it was supposed to be, I couldn’t see an end in sight, and I had no clue where to even begin to look for the roadmap. I live by what the plans are and suddenly the next 30+ days were wiped clean.

No plans. No outings. No adventures.

We’re being told, “it’s for everyone’s safety.” My germaphobe self has every desire to keep everyone safe and healthy. I regularly Lysol my car and car seats, and I’m your go-to for GermX and sunscreen and Benadryl and Motrin and Band-Aids. I can provide a solution for nearly every problem you could present to me. Except this.

My overly realistic self says this seems extreme, this seems irrational, this seems like an overreaction. It just can’t be THIS serious. But the numbers keep climbing, so it must be.

I have to explain to him that germs don’t work that way. While you can spread germs, you can’t just give away all of the undesirables and be healthy. #ifonly

The reality that I can’t fix all of this for him is heavy. I remember being in school learning about different epidemics and recessions of generations’ past and thinking “we are SO much more advanced now, that could never happen NOW. Our technology and safety precautions and hygiene practices have come SO far since then…” and we’ve continued to grow even in the nearly 20 years since I’ve been out of school. Yet, here.we.are.


I can’t even make my brain understand, how am I supposed to help him understand all of this…


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