It goes without saying- being a mom is hard. Being a working mom is hard. Being a stay-at-home mom is hard. Being a mom who works from home is hard. There is no debating any of this. Some women are born to have careers. It’s practically in their blood to rock high heels and a suit on a daily basis. Other women are made to be homemakers. They live and breathe taking care of their families and homes. In my opinion, both types of moms are heroes. As for me, I fall somewhere in the middle, which is why I’m a working mom even though I wish I weren’t.
It’s not that I don’t like working. In fact, just the opposite. I’m a driven person, and I get great satisfaction knowing I’m making a difference in the lives of my students each day. I’m one of the lucky ones who truly loves what I do, and I’m so grateful to have a job, especially during these difficult times. However, I miss my babies. I often feel guilty for nurturing other people’s kids when all I want is to be at home with my own. One of the hardest things to grasp is the fact that this period of their lives is so fleeting. My kids will be in school before I know it. It makes me so sad to think of all the moments I’m missing. Does it break my heart every day when I leave them to go to work? Yes. Do I wish I could be there for every first, every skinned knee, and every tear? Yes. Do I wish I could spend more than a few hours a day with them? Yes. These are all the reasons I wish I didn’t work.
But then I flip the coin, and I ask myself several questions. Do I want my kids to see that a woman can work hard outside of the home to help provide for her family? Yes. Do I want to give them things that only a second income can provide? Yes. Do I want to teach them independence away from mommy? This one hurts to admit, but, yes. I know every decision I make will shape the humans that my babies will one day grow to be. It’s important to me that they learn the value of hard work and that sometimes in life you have to do things you might not want to do. I hope by working, I teach them that sometimes you make sacrifices for the people you love. Most importantly, I hope they grow up knowing that I work so hard because I love them so much. I want to give my babies the world. Therefore, I choose to work. I choose to leave them every morning even though I wish I were at home. I choose to cherish the giggles, cuddles and bedtime stories. I choose to make the most of the time I do have with them. They are the reason I work so hard. They are the reason I’m a working mom even though I wish I weren’t.