A question was posed to me recently: Why are you filling every waking moment with a task? Outside of being obsessed with crossing things off my to-do list once accomplished, I couldn’t answer that question.
Newsflash: You are not a bad mother or wife if every waking second is not filled with some task or chore to complete.
I could delve into the psychology behind this, but I won’t. I will say this – I quickly realized that my husband and children aren’t going to end up unhappy, unfulfilled or in therapy because I didn’t fold a load of clothes at night instead of spending time with them. They will, however, remember that I didn’t spend time with them because I was “too busy” cleaning, cooking, folding clothes, or completing work and/or household tasks that don’t necessarily need to be done right away. If they don’t have a drawer full of clean underwear and socks, that’s okay. They have clean underwear (in a laundry basket) and I spent time laying next to my son, reading books and chatting with him about all the fun things that go through a 4-year old’s brain.
Are you okay?
I knew it was bad, when one evening, after getting both kids to bed, I collapsed on the couch and laid there, watching TV. My husband looked at me, a bit confused and asked, “what are you doing? Are you okay?” That’s when I knew something was wrong. I could find something to do around the house every second of the day. But to what end? Stopping to rest or spend time with anyone in my family was cause for concern.
I’m here to say – STOP. SIT DOWN. REST. SPEND TIME WITH YOUR FAMILY.
My relationships with my kids and my husband and the memories we make by spending time with each other are far more important than getting that last load of clothes out of the dryer and folding them or re-organizing the kitchen junk drawer. I also need to focus on myself.