Why the Domestic Violence System Feels Broken — and How We Can All Help Fix It
When someone says, “That’s none of my business,” when it comes to domestic violence, they are contributing to the epidemic of domestic violence.
As a domestic violence attorney, I hear it all the time. And I get it — people don’t always know what to do. But here’s the truth: Louisiana actually has some of the strongest domestic violence laws in the country. What makes the system feel broken isn’t always the law — it’s the silence. The law is just easier to blame.
Louisiana law has done more than most states to protect survivors. We have:
- Strong protective order laws.
- Specialized domestic violence courts.
- Additional hearings for abusers to bail out of jail.
- Caveats in the law that create exceptions for victims of domestic abuse.
While I know that does not create a perfect judicial system or law enforcement system, laws can only do so much when people still look the other way.
The “I’m Not Getting Involved” Mindset
You’ve heard it before. Maybe even said it once. But when we say “I’m not getting involved,” we’re actually giving abusers exactly what they want — silence.
That silence is dangerous. It isolates victims. It tells them no one will believe them. It keeps them trapped long after the law says they have options. Domestic violence doesn’t get better on its own. It thrives in silence and shame.
Easy Things We Can Do Differently
You don’t have to be a lawyer or police officer to help. Here’s where change can start ::
1) Believe people when they tell you they’re being abused. You don’t need all the details. You just need to listen without judgment.
2) Stop using blaming language. Replace “Why didn’t she leave?” with “I’m here if you need me.” Words matter more than you think.
3) Support survivors safely. That might mean sharing hotline info, offering a ride, or simply checking in.
4) Talk to your kids about what healthy love looks like. Teach them early that love never includes control, fear, or humiliation.
Every small action counts. You may not see the impact, but it’s there.
The Ripple Effect
As a mom, I want my daughter to grow up in a world where people care enough to act. As an attorney, I’ve seen how one supportive friend, coworker, or neighbor can change the entire direction of a survivor’s life. You don’t have to fix it all — you just have to care enough to not look away.
We Are the System
When people say, “The system is broken,” they’re often thinking of police or courts. But the truth is, we are the system — every one of us.
Next time you hear that someone might be in trouble, don’t say, “It’s not my business.” Because it is. Justice doesn’t begin in a courtroom. It begins with a neighbor who decides to care.
If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence, call the Baton Rouge Iris Domestic Violence Center at (225) 389-3001 or the National Domestic Violence Hotline at (800) 799-7233.
