Here I am, 39 weeks pregnant with a baby whom many people refer to as a rainbow baby, meaning baby after loss. For us, this pregnancy comes after two losses over the last two years. I suppose the term has been around for years by now, celebrating a baby after such difficult times. And I am all about celebrating. But I have been hesitant to do it through the use of that term.
Full disclosure: In no way am I putting down anyone’s use of the term rainbow baby. However, these are just some very real feelings and emotions that I’ve been experiencing recently.
There are so many emotions involved with a pregnancy after loss. No longer is it nine months...
“So when are you going to have a baby?” I knew the routine. While I wanted to lecture on infertility and inappropriate questions, I slapped on my fake smile and uttered through gritted teeth “we’re working on it.” This seemingly innocent, albeit nosy, question was so painful to answer. My husband and I suffered through years of infertility, not knowing if we would ever become parents. We found out later that 8 of my miscarriages likely occurred because of chromosomal abnormalities, causing me to miscarry early on in each pregnancy.
A little background.
My husband and I met in October 2002. We married in June 2005 and decided to wait a few years before we started trying to get pregnant. We both come...
I could tell the nurse who answered the phone that night was aggravated with me.
It was the third time that I had called and requested that the on-call doctor call me back. This was the fourth night in a row. The bleeding I could deal with. The cramping is what was doing me in. It was keeping me up all night and had me pacing my house trying to find relief. I was 10 weeks pregnant so anything other than Tylenol was off limits. All I could do was wait for a phone call, breathe, and pray.
My husband and I had actively tried for a second for a couple of months. Our first child was two years old, and...
Pregnancy is a part of life that, more often than not, we have absolutely no control over. Sometimes circumstances help, sometimes it seems like there’s no way out. Since I was born and raised in a different country and have only been in Baton Rouge for a few years, the challenge of navigating this new world seemed even more daunting. Here is part II (following part I) of my list as I was preparing for pregnancy:
1) Health Insurance
Luckily, I have health insurance, but there were many things I didn't know specifics about. These are the things I initially looked for:
Cost of birth
Hospitals / birth centers in network
Birth options covered
I also scheduled an appointment with an OB/GYN...
I remember the look on my husband's face when the sonographer was unable to detect our son's heartbeat. I began to cry as he looked at me with confusion and panic. "He's gone," I said. We held each other in a dark room that merely moments ago was filled with joy and excitement. Exam room four, now so cold and lifeless.
As we walked behind closed doors to labor and delivery, I remember how quiet we stood waiting for the elevator. Both of our minds reeling with questions and hurt, though on the outside - quiet. The silence would show its face many times in the days to come. When our son was born, quiet. As our friends and family...
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