My Faith Remains My Center

As I reflect on the past four weeks of life, I am a huge ball of emotions. I find myself just as uneasy as I was on day one. I am completely sick to my stomach that we are starting our fifth week of quarantine. I am an absolute basket case thinking about the fact that my oldest will start kindergarten next year and he did not get the chance to finish his year of PreK 4. My hurt hearts for everyone who is hurting right now. There is still no normalcy, but we are beginning to make new normals.

Awkward Distancing…

I reflect on our community of Southern extroverts who find social distancing very awkward. No one knows what to do because we have been raised in a culture that teaches us to hug, shake hands and invade personal space and now we can’t do any of that. We found a way to make social distancing, social with birthday parades, visits to our families through windows and the front porch project pictures. I could not be more proud to live in a community that finds a way to spread love and kindness even when our worlds are flipped upside down.

The Slow Down…

As a mother of four young children, life has never been slow. We are always on the go with a full calendar. This whole experience has been an extreme slow down. Even though we still have plenty that keeps us busy, our schedules have been wiped clean. No school, no practice, no parks, no zoo, no birthday parties, no mom’s night outs, and no date nights. I have had this weird, unexplained feeling of calmness throughout the quarantine like this is where I am supposed to be. I am spending quality time with my children and husband and I’m reminded that I don’t have to take my kids anywhere to have fun, they enjoy just having us here with them. They don’t need material things and a full schedule, they need the attention and love of their parents.

My Center…

Through this whole quarantine, one thing has remained constant. My center. My Faith. My Lord. Every time I feel like complaining about being stuck at home, I’m reminded by a voice in my heart, “you’re not stuck, you’re safe! Your kids are safe and healthy.” The weather has been nothing short of amazing while we’ve been quarantined. We have gone fishing more times than I can count and I’ve been able to enjoy sitting on my porch more times in four weeks than I have in the seven years I have lived here!

The voice comes back, “go outside, enjoy the days I have made!” I have found myself getting to things around the house that have been on a “long” list for as long as I can remember. Things that are now off of my list, along with my anxiety, while adding a huge sense of accomplishment and better sleep. I’ve had no deadlines, nowhere to be. Again, God telling me that it’s time to slow down and enjoy my family.

I do not doubt that God has us in His hands. He won’t let go and we will see our way to the end of this, with a little Faith, Hope, Southern Hospitality, and soap.

Tessa Stuard
Born and raised in Baton Rouge, currently living in Central, LA with my family. I am married to my husband of 7 years, Alva. We have four children, Jakoby (6), twins-Kirby and Camp (4), and Ella Ray (1). I am a Pediatric RN, BSN turned stay at home mom. I am an extreme extrovert that loves spending time with my hubby, kiddos, camping, mani/pedis, crafts, sushi, watching baseball and pretty much anything that gives me a good excuse to have a margarita!


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here