As inappropriate as it would be for me to ask you how much you weighed at your last doctor’s appointment, it is equally inappropriate for you to ask me intimate details of my pregnancy. Please keep your opinions and questions to yourself. Here are the top questions you should never ask a pregnant lady.
What’s the plan for future children?
First, this is none of your business. Second, I don’t want to think about future children while I am currently growing one, and finally, you have no idea how long I have tried and prayed for this baby.
Was this an accident?
It doesn’t matter how old my other children are, what age I am or whether you think I should have another child or not, it is never appropriate to ask me if this child was planned for.
Do you really want your child to be an only child?
Here’s the thing, you have no idea how long it has taken us to conceive this baby. You have no idea if we CAN have another biological child; therefore, keep your comments and questions about my future offspring to yourself.
Who is the father?
Newsflash, it is 2017, and there are few ways that I can get pregnant and none of them are your business … neither is who helped me create this child. No need to further explain. If you need further explanation, please contact your high school Biology teacher.
Are you pregnant?
This is never, ever a good idea. Sometimes I have just eaten a large bowl of Coco Puffs, and I am feeling a little bloated. This does NOT mean that I am with child. Also, I could have just had a baby, and the child just happens to not be with me. So, unless my water has broken and you see me, it is never ok to ask if I am pregnant.
When are you going back to work?
My choice as to when or if I go back to work is between myself and my spouse. Your assumption that I can take off multiple weeks to stay home with my newborn is a bad assumption. I may very well need to financially support my family or maybe I am ready to return to work to work on a large project. You will know when I go back to work when I am no longer home. Until that time comes, just wait in anticipation.
There are a lot of hormones running through pregnant ladies, and I would recommend sticking to talking about people that are already around us here on earth. Feel free to ask about my spouse that you know or my older children, but my body and the little human I am growing do not need your opinions or questions.
All except one of these do I think are highly inappropriate questions to ask anyone. The question of “when will you return to work,” I don’t think is so bad. As someone who worked all during my pregnancy and debated back and forth of staying home or returning to work I looked for advice from other mommies. And being a stay at home mom now I still get other mommy opinions on the matter. I think a lot of my fellow moms or dads struggle with this decision too and I think we should be able to encourage and discuss this. No mommy shaming, just give our personal testimony on the matter and help give advice to those wandering what they should do. For example it is still a question to me if I should go back to work when mine start school? Or should I go back now and just not clear that much due to daycare cost? If we are able to discuss this with other moms then they can tell us what route was best for them so you can weigh your options. Maybe they can suggest an in home daycare that may not costs so much or make suggestions to cut back on things so you can afford daycare, or to stay home. Just a different perspective on the question. Not saying that some people don’t ask just to be nosy. Believe I got that too, but also some people may want to know to help with a decision themselves.
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