Growing up, I was taught that family comes first, always! It wasn’t until I had my own family that I knew what that truly meant. I never knew how to truly love a person so much until I had my own child, and yes I’m sure a lot of you parents know what I mean. You look at this human, and you realize this person you’re in charge of. You have to keep this human being alive somehow. Yeah I know that sounds kind of crazy, but it’s true. I went through so much as a child and until I moved out of my family home, I never knew what true love was until that crazy magical day happened.
I started to realize that no matter what, I would never put my child in any harm’s way as long as I live. I grew up pretty quick when I had my son. I hope no one will ever have to go through the trauma I went through as a child. I was one of those people that read the parenting blogs and stories in the news and watched the shows. I was so invested in becoming the semi-best mommy.
I wanted to know how to be a good parent because I didn’t have that growing up. No, my parents weren’t the worst. I’m alive because of them, but things happened to me and I never really understood how to face my emotions or how to talk about it. I was taught that anything I saw or heard was kept quiet and only for people in our home to know. So when I had my child, I had to learn to set boundaries for people, especially people in my family. You know how I was taught family always comes first? Well, growing up, I thought that meant the family that I grew up with always came first as well.
It wasn’t until two years ago that I realized that MY family comes first. If I feel like someone is are a danger to my child, I will set a boundary. I wasn’t taught about boundaries growing up, but now I know what it means. I set boundaries left and right, and I don’t like it, but I feel like it gives a whole new meaning of learning how to deal with your emotions and knowing who is good and bad in your life.
I have set boundaries for how my children and I am treated. I have also learned that if I feel uncomfortable in a situation, I walk away or remove myself from that situation. A boundary can mean a lot of things to different people, but to me, a boundary is about protection. So if you feel like a person is mistreating you or making you feel uncomfortable or you are in a toxic environment, you can set that boundary. I also have found it more valuable if you let the person(s) know you are setting that boundary.
So, set that healthy boundary!