Through the Lens of My Mind

On days like these, I get mad at simple things like a spoon dropping at the dinner table after I sweep. Why am I this way?

One single room in my house is messy and I feel as though the entire house is destroyed, ruined. Why am I this way?

Another day went by that I did not get to mop the floors and I can feel my body become tenser and angrier. Why am I this way?

The laundry basket just got another clean load added to it. I don’t have time to fold them right now and I can’t stop thinking about it- it consumes my mind. Why am I this way?

I worry incessantly about a single simple comment made to me and turn into a weeklong obsession, replaying it over and over in my head. Why am I this way?

I work tirelessly on my to-do list and it has been dwindled down to 2 things. Only 2 things left on my to-do list, yet I still feel as though I am drowning and have a billion things to do. Why am I this way?

Though I am aware of the fact that I am a mother of young children and this is just a part of the stage of life I am in, I still get triggered when my family makes multiple messes and doesn’t clean up before moving on to making other messes. Why am I this way?

I get so lost in my thoughts that I realize my kids have been calling my name for quite some time. Why am I this way?

When my behavior is pointed out, I snap, defend, fight, then hide. Why am I this way?

As I wipe away the stains from the cabinets and they disappear, I feel my spirits rise. Why am I this way?

I finally get to mop my floors and upon completion, the person I was before is like the difference of night and day compared to the person I am now. Why am I this way?

As I match the lost pair of socks at the bottom of the laundry basket, I begin to feel the weights lift. Why am I this way?

As I tightly hug my husband and children, I get a new lease on life. Why am I this way?

I allow the tears to flow and I feel the anxiety melt off my body with the tears.

And just as quickly as the behavior and thoughts consumed my body and mind, they disappear, and I feel okay again.

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