To My Dear Friend Who Lost Her Mom :: When Mother’s Day Hurts

As moms, Mother’s Day is always special. Sure, the “one full day of pampering” our homemade coupon promises probably won’t ever happen, but it’s the thought that counts.

Personally, my mom is my best friend and ultimate inspiration when it comes to all things motherhood. I don’t buy her gifts regularly, but it doesn’t take an annual holiday to remind me how blessed I am to be hers.

Because of my relationship with my mom, I have a really difficult time imagining life without her. Now that I have babies of my own, the thought of navigating motherhood without our daily FaceTime calls is a scary one. I genuinely need her advice and reassurance on a daily basis.

My very best friend Haley lost her mom to cancer in 2013. Needless to say, I have a hard time even thinking about such a loss. Her grief is and was very, very real. Still, she gets out of bed every day and blows me away. She’s an incredible mother to a perfect baby girl and a true boss (literally…a VP) at the office.

Because I rely on my own mother more than ever, I wanted to take a moment to send love to the mothers out there who are like my dear friend Haley. I wrote this poem for her but know many of you may be feeling the same things.

If you have a friend who is missing her mama today, please share this poem with her. Let her know how grateful you are for her. Tell her she’s doing a good job. Make sure she knows she’s never alone.

When Mother’s Day Hurts

I’m buried under crafts and snacks,
Covered in glitter and bubbles.
I’m so caught up in my own silly mess,
Ashamed it takes days like this to remind me of your troubles.

We send flowers and share thanks online,
But it’s just another day to you.
A day you’re reminded of what you’ve lost
And all the things you wish you could do.

Your loss isn’t singular;
It’s ongoing and never ends.
It’s a present and a future
Without your very best friend.

My heart hurts to think
That you ever feel alone.
You’re so strong and independent,
Determined to do it all on your own.

When you became a mom,
I know you missed her most.
You grieved what she was missing
As you held your baby close.

I know you’re figuring it out,
But the darkness still brings its tears.
When all is quiet and your little one rests,
I know you long for her to ease all your fears.

All the time that has passed
Doesn’t change the pain that you feel.
Holidays like these
Remind you it was all real.

Though we’ve carried on and you’re doing well,
I need you to know I’m here.
For your questions, the failures and all the success,
I’ll be your cheerleader and your listening ear.

You might not get to send flowers,
But I know what will make your day…
Your baby girl’s smile when you enter the room,
When you kiss her or when you play.

Turns out, you’re just like your mom;
Your little one thinks you hung the moon.
You’re doing an incredible job,
And I pray I get to hug you soon.

Happy Mother’s Day, friend. Today, I celebrate you, the amazing mother you are and the amazing mother that raised you. I love you.

MaryGracePinkard
Mary Grace Pinkard is a mom of two precious girls, Harvey (2.5) and Palmer (5 months) and wife to Chad, a physician currently in his pediatric residency at Our Lady of the Lake Children’s Hospital. She’s originally from Laurel, Mississippi, and attended the University of Georgia. After college, Mary Grace worked in public relations and advertising. While she now stays at home with her girls, she’s the social media director for The Cradle Coach, a baby and toddler sleep consulting company serving families worldwide. She doesn’t know exactly what she enjoys doing in her spare time because "spare time currently doesn’t exist"…yet, she wouldn’t have it any other way. Mary Grace is all about sharing her motherhood moments with zero filter, embracing the messy and connecting with other moms through the raw and the real (sometimes hilarious) struggles motherhood brings.

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