It’s that time of year, when the aisles of the grocery stores fill with notebooks and pencils. The vacation hot spots become less crowded as the little ones head back to class. Your newsfeed is full of friends posting photos of kiddos posing by chalk boards detailing the school year and other facts about their current dreams and aspirations.
This school year looks a little different from my perspective. Instead of watching all the children traipse off to class, I’ll be trotting right along with them. Yes, I have decided to return to school. It’s funny, I remember being in grade school repeating to myself, “If I could just get out of here. Once I finish I’m never coming back!” Yet here I am, returning to the books, to be an educator at that. It’s ironic how life dishes out a little chuckle here and there at your plans.
It’s been almost ten years since I finished college with my undergrad in nursing science. Needless to say there is quite a layer of dust to shake loose. I have had the reoccurring, “What are you thinking?” moments. It’s easy to bog down with the, “You have a family to worry about. You don’t have time for this!” mind game. Oh and let’s not forget to mention the guilt. I think it’s the worst. “What if you are busy studying and miss a milestone with the baby?” That last thought almost made me throw in the towel altogether.
As most women would, I have really had to dig deep to find the right mindset for this journey. There has been a lot of convincing myself how effective my coordination skills are. Between being a wife, mother, nurse, and student, I could compete with the best of the circus juggling acts. Though after much deliberation, despite the anxiety, I have decided to continue the course. Recently, a thought crossed my mind while pondering my options, simply put- I want my child to dream big. What better way to teach this concept than to demonstrate it in my own life? When those little eyes gaze upon me I want them to see a mother full of strength and determination. I don’t want them to be limited due to my own self doubt. They deserve to have a wide horizon full of boundless hopes and dreams.
So, I declare with confidence that as “back to school” season rolls around I will not shudder with fear. I will embrace this chapter with a dedicated heart. I owe it to my family and myself to achieve my lifelong goal of a Master’s Degree. In the spirit of the season I will fix myself a large latte, throw my hair in a messy bun and dive in. Don’t be surprised if you catch my very own back to school chalkboard photo as you scroll through your newsfeed. I’m going all in y’all, care to join me?