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“So when are you going to have a baby?” I knew the routine. While I wanted to lecture on infertility and inappropriate questions, I slapped on my fake smile and uttered through gritted teeth “we’re working on it.” This seemingly innocent, albeit nosy, question was so painful to answer. My husband and I suffered through years of infertility, not knowing if we would ever become parents. We found out later that 8 of my miscarriages likely occurred because of chromosomal abnormalities, causing me to miscarry early on in each pregnancy. A little background. My husband and I met in October 2002. We married in June 2005 and decided to wait a few years before we started trying to get pregnant. We both come...
  I could tell the nurse who answered the phone that night was aggravated with me. It was the third time that I had called and requested that the on-call doctor call me back. This was the fourth night in a row. The bleeding I could deal with. The cramping is what was doing me in. It was keeping me up all night and had me pacing my house trying to find relief. I was 10 weeks pregnant so anything other than Tylenol was off limits. All I could do was wait for a phone call, breathe, and pray. My husband and I had actively tried for a second for a couple of months. Our first child was two years old, and...
I remember the look on my husband's face when the sonographer was unable to detect our son's heartbeat. I began to cry as he looked at me with confusion and panic. "He's gone," I said. We held each other in a dark room that merely moments ago was filled with joy and excitement. Exam room four, now so cold and lifeless. As we walked behind closed doors to labor and delivery, I remember how quiet we stood waiting for the elevator. Both of our minds reeling with questions and hurt, though on the outside - quiet. The silence would show its face many times in the days to come. When our son was born, quiet. As our friends and family...
Most people that know me know I am a “Boy Mom” who absolutely adores her sons and her Boy Mom adventures. I truly do. However, there is an almost unspoken reality that I live with daily. I had a daughter. I gave birth to Charlotte, my “official” second child, too early and she died. She was born, yet never took a breath of air. She has a name, but she didn’t live. I held her but she didn’t move. Being pregnant with her is the only memory she and I will ever have together. Most well-meaning friends and family don’t acknowledge her existence, I am sure, out of fear of hurting me. I don’t publicly acknowledge my love for her on a...

The Dreaded Question

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"Is this your first?" To any woman pregnant after loss, you know the punch in the gut feeling that follows. The inner turmoil of dialogue goes something like, "Should I tell them I lost my first baby? No. It's too sad, they'll feel so uncomfortable. But, does that make me ashamed of him? If I don't explain, does that make me a bad mom? Would he think I'm not proud of him?" It's a battle I faced every time an acquaintance innocently asked that question. And let me tell you, working in a hospital, it happened a lot. Before returning from maternity leave after losing Weston, I honestly practiced a script of what to say when faced with tough questions like...

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Guide to Baton Rouge Holiday Events

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The 2023 Guide to Baton Rouge Holiday Events Are you visiting Baton Rouge with kids or looking for fun things to do with kids in...