With no surprise, the death of my son changed my life in so many ways. The overflow of stolen moments immediately consumed my mind when I heard he was gone. I'll never hold his hand on the first day...
Alone.
I recall sitting at my home, listening to the silence as it roared in my ears. I was supposed to have a baby to care for at this time. I was supposed to be sleep deprived from midnight feedings...
I wasn't expecting a visit from you today. As I watched my husband build a tall tower of blocks with our toddler, joy filled the room as Christmas cheer was in full effect. But, you found me. In the...
October you will forever be dear to me. Your cool crisp air blowing with swirls of amber and gold, though underlying there will always be a tinge of blue. October is pregnancy loss month and ironically when the greatest...
Here I am, 39 weeks pregnant with a baby whom many people refer to as a rainbow baby, meaning baby after loss. For us, this pregnancy comes after two losses over the last two years. I suppose the term...
“So when are you going to have a baby?” I knew the routine. While I wanted to lecture on infertility and inappropriate questions, I slapped on my fake smile and uttered through gritted teeth “we’re working on it.” This...
I could tell the nurse who answered the phone that night was aggravated with me.
It was the third time that I had called and requested that the on-call doctor call me back. This was the fourth night in a...
I remember the look on my husband's face when the sonographer was unable to detect our son's heartbeat. I began to cry as he looked at me with confusion and panic. "He's gone," I said. We held each other...
Most people that know me know I am a “Boy Mom” who absolutely adores her sons and her Boy Mom adventures. I truly do. However, there is an almost unspoken reality that I live with daily.
I had a daughter.
I...
"Is this your first?"
To any woman pregnant after loss, you know the punch in the gut feeling that follows. The inner turmoil of dialogue goes something like, "Should I tell them I lost my first baby? No. It's too...
My journey to (biological) motherhood was anything but text book easy. It took about eight months to get pregnant. Once pregnant, I carried eight pounds of EXTRA amniotic fluid. I had back labor. The epidural didn't touch my labor...
After the birth of my first child, my husband and I knew we wanted to wait a while before trying to get pregnant again. At my six-week post-natal checkup, I was ready to have the birth control discussion with...