Real Talk

  I volunteer. I do Pilates. I run. Generally speaking, I look like a fairly put together person. I have a decent job. I’m well-spoken. If we met at Java Mama, a BREC park, or an LSU watch party, you’d have no clue that I had been going home to a physically and emotionally abusive relationship for nearly two years. Through countless counseling sessions and conversations with friends and family, I got myself and my daughter out. Recently, on the Betrayal Trauma Recovery podcast, I heard a guest say “an isolated victim is a controlled victim.” I’ve now realized the severely awful times were the times I was isolating myself from others. I was kicked, choked, slapped, called a sl*t, etc....

Lately, I've found myself volunteering to mow our yard. Shortly after having our second daughter, the pandemic hit, and the voluntary quarantine we put in place for our newborn quickly became strongly encouraged by government officials. We weren't going anywhere anytime soon. I needed to get out of the house. So, escaping for an hour to take over a productive task like mowing seemed like one of my only options. I do enjoy it, but I still find myself looking through the window when I can to check on my husband and kids. I feel selfish for needing to get out, but I'm also frustrated that I feel obligated to be productive at all times. Is this self care? Stepping outside...

It might sound like Foucault, Obama, and postpartum have no connection, but they do. Hear me out. Foucault studies power dynamics and how certain social and political structures can dictate the lives of individuals. For example, isolating women and not allowing them time to heal and bond with their offspring by not having a proper paid maternity leave policy in place, accrues a weight that impacts every aspect of women’s lives. Aesthetic is important in this context because it can be used as an alienating tool. Images of women who just gave birth dieting and working out to “bounce back” are hammered into everyday narratives creating unrealistic expectations. Because of the path we’ve trailed this far, women were led to believe...

Let's break it down. A waitress walks around her restaurant offering samples of a new lemonade they just started offering.  You see, the boss told her if she offers the lemonade to as many people as she can, it’s more likely she’ll find a few who love the lemonade and keep coming back for more. The more that come back, the more money the restaurant makes…and this means a Christmas bonus for the waitress. The waitress really needs this job. It’s out of her comfort zone, but she’s willing to give it a try. How hard can it be? After all, she really loves lemonade.    She approaches your table. “Hello. Would you be interested in trying our new lemonade? It’s so good, and...

It is past time that someone says it, so excuse me while I stand on top of my soapbox and scream it from my backyard: "Are you a CHEERLEADER for the other women in this world or are you a RIVAL?" Will you help build the next generation of strong, proud, kind amazing women or will you help another decade of women hide their talents and passion for fear of being bullied and tormented? I have so many mixed emotions and feelings about this topic, but one opinion always stands out: SUPPORT your fellow woman, especially if she is your friend. I want to ask you a question here (and please answer honestly). How often have you been in a conversation...