Dear Teen Mom, I See You
I’ll never forget seeing those two pink lines. I was 16. I’d had a few different boyfriends since I turned 14, but this was my first serious relationship. He was thrilled. I was, understandably, terrified.
After a very difficult pregnancy, we welcomed our first son two weeks before my 17th birthday. Of course, it was love at first sight. We had an awesome support system, and I know for a fact the days would have been a lot harder without the help and love we received from grandparents. I don’t take that for granted one bit; they were a saving grace on many nights when I wanted to give up from lack of sleep. In fact, even today all these years later, they’re quick to help in whatever way they can and I am so grateful.
Even with all the support, becoming a mom so young drastically changed me.
No longer were my days spent being a typical teen and partying with my friends. Now I was in the midst of a new territory filled with diaper changes and midnight feedings. It was HARD. I was not a shy girl in high school, and missing out on all those social experiences took a toll on me. I ended up dropping out and getting my GED. I know, I know. I’m not proud of it, but I did what was best for me at the time.
You see, that’s what life is like as a teen mom. You do what’s best for you at the time.
Being so young, it’s extremely difficult to look past anything but the present moment. Now, what you do in the present moment either makes you stronger or it breaks you. No way around it. I didn’t let it break me. I never once had a single shroud of regret for having my son. The choice to bring him into this world was mine and mine alone, thanks to my mom who gave me a choice.
I never had regret but I wasn’t immune to the glances of strangers wherever I went.
Some judged, most did not. Instead their looks of pity made me hold my head up higher. Being a teen mom wasn’t who I was; I was just a mom trying my best.
That was all nearly 15 years ago. I’m in my early thirties now and definitely amongst the youngest of the moms in my kid’s group of friends. I don’t let it bother me anymore. As he grew, so did I. It may have not been the easiest road to take but oh, what a journey it’s been growing up alongside my son. We share a lot of the same interests and are able to have open, honest conversations about some really tough topics. I love the relationship I have with him.
If you’re a teen mom, I see you.
I see your struggle but I also see your joy. You’re allowed to celebrate every little thing just like an older mom would. This is your life and your experience. Make the best of it. Hold onto those memories as much as you can. The years will fly by.
If you know a teen mom, offer to buy them dinner, or babysit, or simply give them a hug and let them vent. The more support, the better. Try not to pass judgement, they’re already receiving enough of that.
