I Hate Being Pregnant

 I hate being pregnant.

“Wow.” 

“That’s a pretty harsh statement, Camille.”

I know it and I mean it. I know it’s a completely different opinion from someone who has documented their struggle to get/stay pregnant, but I stand by it. Pregnancy is a means to an end for me.

Now, before you furiously type in the comments about how lucky I am to experience this true act of God, let me explain. I don’t hate being pregnant for the superficial reasons. I am still currently dealing with all day sickness and extreme fatigue even in my second trimester. My skin is breaking out and I divert my eyes on the scale at my doctor’s appointments. My husband does everything around the house and with our six-year-old, and my mood swings more than kids at City Park. 

And I am so so so thankful for it all.

Because if I wasn’t experiencing it, I would be losing my mind. On a day where my nausea isn’t awful I immediately freak out. Every weird yet normal pain is a call to the nurse. I’ve only had one emergency (it wasn’t an emergency) ultrasound that my doctor kindly granted when I felt “off.” Being pregnant, especially with my history, is so unbelievably stressful I feel I can’t enjoy it. 

We didn’t tell people for the longest time due to fear, which I hate. We won’t buy anything pertaining to Baby until I’m at least 27 weeks along. I probably won’t take maternity pictures. It’s so hard to be excited or for it to “feel real” when you’ve suffered so much loss. 

I am feeling more confident though. Now that I’ve seen our little baby four (!!!) times, and leggings are the only pants that fit me right now, I can’t be in denial forever. This is apparently happening with me afraid or not! I know how insanely blessed I am to even experience this. I also know when the baby actually arrives the worry can really begin. So I’m just getting started. 

Camille has always had ties to Baton Rouge even though she didn’t live here until she finished college. Both of her parents grew up in the Red Stick but she was born and raised in Memphis, Tennessee. After graduating from the University of Tennessee (Go Vols!) with a BA in Communication Studies, she moved to Baton Rouge and welcomed her adorable son Caleb (7) less than a year later. She navigated life being a divorced mom until 2015 when she married her incredibly supportive husband Chris in San Francisco. They welcomed baby Christian in the summer of 2017. Truly a “Jane of all Trades”, she has worked in non-profit, local news, retail management, and owned a successful childcare facility. All roads led her to be an elementary school teacher which she believes is her calling. Camille enjoys “family fun days” where they explore BR, CrossFit, baking, and drinking all the coffee. She lives with her family in Ascension Parish with their chubby puggle Chloe.

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