Mom Shame Game: No One Wants to Play

It’s 2021 … why are moms still judging other moms?? Newsflash … motherhood is hard!!!! Being a working mom, being a stay at home mom, being a mom to a special needs child, being a single mom, being a married mom …. IT’S ALL HARD!!! Stop judging other moms!!!!

I have been judged as a mother a lot … I have four kids (do I know how that happens?), I have twins (Gosh, your hands are full!), I have a child that doesn’t eat (If you made him eat what you ate), I have an impulsive/obstinate child (maybe if you disciplined him better) …. all of these things suck to hear. They are not encouraging and they don’t help me be a better person or mother. Sometimes I just need someone to say, “this too shall pass,” “you are a good momma,” “this stage is short,” “you are enough,” and “I’m praying for you!”

We all have things in our day to day life that makes our job harder. Not one of us has perfect children. Not one of us has a perfect life. I have mom friends that “look” like they have it all together … the picture perfect life – but they struggle too. I have mom friends that are very vocal about the things in their life that are not perfect: anxiety, depression, domestic abuse. I know moms that have kids that get along and moms that have kids that do nothing but argue. I know moms that yell and moms that don’t. I know moms that have kids that don’t eat what they cook (and they cook a separate meal … GASP) and I know moms that make their kids eat what they cook. I know moms that don’t allow electronics and tv and I know moms that let their kids have electronics for most of the day. I know moms that drink and cuss and moms that don’t. I know moms that let their kids do extracurricular activities and ones that don’t. I know moms that give their kids chores and ones that don’t.

Being a mom is like Baskin Robbins but there are WAYYYY more than 31 flavors. We are all responsible for making decisions for our kids that we second guess ourselves for daily. ALL of us do this. We are responsible for raising the next generations of humans and that’s a big responsibility. Moms should not put other moms under a microscope.

A mom is the only person that truly understands another mom. There should be an unlimited amount of support, grace and kindness given. If you’re in the store and see another mom struggling…tell her she isn’t alone. Encourage her! You may be the light in a dark day. Dark days are hard … they make you feel alone and sad, like you are failing your kids and your family. Every mom has had that kind of day. Be the light.


Born and raised in Baton Rouge, currently living in Central, LA with my family. I am married to my husband of 7 years, Alva. We have four children, Jakoby (6), twins-Kirby and Camp (4), and Ella Ray (1). I am a Pediatric RN, BSN turned stay at home mom. I am an extreme extrovert that loves spending time with my hubby, kiddos, camping, mani/pedis, crafts, sushi, watching baseball and pretty much anything that gives me a good excuse to have a margarita!