Pick Your Battles :: Sometimes It’s Ok To Lose

You win some and you lose some when it comes to parenting. What your child wears, if they nap, what they eat for lunch, etc. These are all battles, per se. Battles with that feisty toddler or in my case, the forever challenging 12 or 6 year old. It changes by the day, but there are plenty of things I choose to let go of and not “win.”

A few battles that are not worth fighting:

I am okay with losing to what my child wants to wear.

Any given day, you will see my daughter in her favorite pair of leggings with a mismatched dress. I am okay with this, I want my kids to be creative and be comfortable in their own skin – if this is the worst battle I lose, and I will take the L! Also, I will give up the matching smocked outfits; they’d make fun of me in 20 years anyway.

I am okay with my son playing “too many video games.”

My 12 year old son is a basketball lover. He will watch any game, play basketball any hour of the day, and has had a count down until the day of tryouts since the beginning of school. In his spare time, which let’s be honest is rare, he wants to play NBA2K17. I am perfectly fine with this; I will lose this battle. My straight A student who loves sports wants to spend a few hours on the weekend vegging out playing video games. It is not worth the battle.

I am okay if my kids have chicken nuggets and Mac & Cheese for dinner.

They will survive, and so will I. There are nights when dinner just won’t happen, or frankly my husband or I need that time to be spent doing something else. The battle of forcing my children to eat healthy meals every single day is not worth it. Nutrition is important, but so is my sanity. Feed them what they will eat and move on; this too shall pass.

I am okay if my kids aren’t the perfect students.

This is a hard one, but I know that sometimes school is hard for kids. For me, if they are trying their very best and miss the mark, that is okay. We, as a family, we will work together with their teachers and they will get better. But if straight As isn’t obtainable for you every single year, it is okay.

There are a few battles I will fight for over and over again if needed:

I will always fight that my children are respectful to their peers, teachers and our friends.

Respect is shown in different ways, but for me this is a battle I will fight.

I will always fight that my children accept people for who they are.

It doesn’t matter what this person looks like, who they worship, or who they are in a relationship with – you accept people. You love them for who they are.

I will always fight that my kids show love wherever they go.

You see a kid being bullied on the playground – fight for them, love them and tell a teacher. If you are in a situation you are unsure of, the question I ask myself is “How do I respond to this situation in love?” I promise, that will never lead you wrong.

When it comes down to it, we all have hopes and dreams for our kids. For me, my hopes and dreams have a lot more to do with my kids not being jerks than it does what they wear day to day.

Pick your battles, parents. We are in this for the long haul!

pick your battles

Tiffany is happily married to her high school sweetheart, Desmond. Together they get to play the roles of Mommy and Daddy to Micah, a gifted Math Wiz of a teenager who is always making people laugh, and Keilyn, a spunky, flower loving, dancing girl who will stop and talk to anyone she meets. She was born and raised in Baton Rouge and has Cajun blood running through her veins. She works full time outside of the home in business administration. She started the journey of motherhood young but wouldn’t have it any other way. Her children have taught her to laugh, play and that sometimes it’s ok not to have a plan! She has a passion for teenagers and is an active mentor in her church’s youth group. In her rare free time she enjoys shopping, coffee, and date nights with her husband. She believes that everyone has a story to tell and enjoys meeting new people, making people laugh, and spending time with friends and family.


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