Please Stop Judging My Book By Its Cover

If you look at my book of life, the cover is bright and vibrant, full of smiling faces that show no problems. And truly our life is good. We are blessed, but we have our problems too. Inside you will find that we have several issues that we deal with on the regular. We just choose not to show you those things in the highlight reels.

We have a child who hates to eat and sleep. First thing people assume is that my husband and I just aren’t in control of our child. Tell him to eat, and if he doesn’t? Well, he will eat when he gets hungry. I’m here to tell you that’s a big fat LIE! When he was around 16 months old, he fell and bit his tongue and he stopped eating that day. Up to that point, he ate anything. We tried everything to get his eating habits back to normal. We gave him his food and picked it up when he refused. We let him go a full 18 hours with nothing but water. Nothing. He was fine not eating. We took him to feeding therapy where he would throw up, and we were told we just weren’t strict enough. He is 6 and still only eats a handful of things, peanut butter being his lifeline. He still struggles to sleep at night. He will do anything to delay going to bed.

We have a child that struggles with worry and anxiety. He obsesses over death and is scared when we leave we won’t come back. He has some behavioral issues that stem from those things and I’m worried sick he will be labeled “the bad kid.” He’s not a bad kid, he just struggles with things internally that no one sees. I’m worried sick that I will be labeled “the bad mom” because he isn’t perfect. He is impulsive and rough. He does things just to get attention. I don’t know why? I cannot fix it, no matter how hard I try, but have no doubt that I work on fixing it everyday of my life.

We have a child that is just trying to fit in with all the other girls. She wants her hair a certain way and to dress in certain things to be more like her friends. She does all these things to get certain girls to want to play with her. I worry about her molding herself to be liked. I try to teach her to be herself, inside and out. If someone can’t like her for who she is, then she needs to find other friends.

I have a husband that works A LOT! A lot more than anyone thinks or knows. Thank God I have parents close that support me and fill in daily. I’m not sure where I’d be without them. I’m told by many people that I’m “supermom.” I’m not. I’m a regular mom just trying to keep my head above water, struggling with things I choose not to put on my cover.

As parents, we are raising our future. It’s so important for kids to know that we don’t always know what someone else is dealing with. I’m currently trying to teach mine that beauty is just as much on the inside as it is the outside. We can’t really call ourselves pretty if we are being ugly to someone else. It’s an important thing to teach our kids, not only with our words, but with our actions.

If you’ve made it this far, I want you to ask yourself if you’ve assumed or judged someone today. If your answer is yes, call that person – see if there is anything they need. Send them a text to let them know you’re thinking about them. Say a little prayer for them tonight before you go to sleep. And wake up tomorrow and ask yourself what can you do to make a difference in someone else’s life today.

Tessa Stuard
Born and raised in Baton Rouge, currently living in Central, LA with my family. I am married to my husband of 7 years, Alva. We have four children, Jakoby (6), twins-Kirby and Camp (4), and Ella Ray (1). I am a Pediatric RN, BSN turned stay at home mom. I am an extreme extrovert that loves spending time with my hubby, kiddos, camping, mani/pedis, crafts, sushi, watching baseball and pretty much anything that gives me a good excuse to have a margarita!


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