Perspectives in Parenting

Dear David's Mom, Look, I know you have a name. Maybe you haven't heard it in a while. Maybe you answer by "MOMMY!" or "MOM!" or "SNACK!" or maybe you're mostly just referred to as "David's Mom." I wear my Mom Badge proudly, too, but know better than to think that's where your identity ends. Maybe you're the boss of your own company. Maybe you're running a household full-time. Maybe you have a whole slew of things you do and accomplish outside of parenting. Whoever you are, I've been wanting to say something to you. I know David can be a handful. He seems to get himself into a lot of mischief. It looks all too familiar. I see that you...

"It's not you, it's me" is the cliché phrase we have all heard during a sappy breakup scene on a show or movie, in a breakup song or a romance novel. The phrase is so cliché and dated because it allowed one person an "out" for them to break up with the other person without necessarily having a reason.  It typically was said with a tone of pity and guilt. I, myself, have never used this to break up with someone but I have had it used to break up with me.  While this phrase has many negative eye roll connotations and feelings that come up, it has now become an affirmation I tell myself when things get a little...

I wasn't expecting a visit from you today. As I watched my husband build a tall tower of blocks with our toddler, joy filled the room as Christmas cheer was in full effect. But, you found me. In the middle of bliss and laughter, a pang of sadness. You reminded me someone was missing. Just as my spirit settles, there you are, waiting for me. Grief. Grief, you come in the most unsuspecting moments, when I am overflowing with happiness, almost as a limitation to my joy. "Oh no!" grief says, "You can't be that happy. You can't feel that much joy. Someone is missing, remember?" I used to mistake you for guilt. How can I feel joy when someone I...

“Leave the mess, they’re only little for so long!” “Let them be little, they’re only that way for a little while!” “Messy house, happy family.” Do these phrases sound familiar? I am sure at some point on your motherhood journey you’ve heard at least one of those phrases. While I do agree that babies don’t keep, and we do need to make the most of the time while they are small, I propose an idea that will probably be an unpopular one. What if cleaning the mess is more important? Hear me out. What if the mess causes one to feel unproductive which causes mental tension? What if it creates so much anxiety that one cannot effectively parent? What if one...

My dad gave me a call recently just to chat, which seems normal, but it is kind of out of character for my introverted silent compassionate father. Long story short, he misses his grandson and wants him to go over to his house more on the weekends. Love it, I am totally on board. My mother-in-law also loves having the little guy over on weekends. Love that too. Kids need grandparents and grandparents need grandkids. Momma needs some alone time and when the hubby is miraculously off of work, some spouse time too. Though, why do I feel a tinge of guilt? I love putting my son to bed at night. I straight up love getting in my pajamas and...